Pieces of Here

Um…Oops?

So yesterday I got to talk to my sailor for a loooong time. But being the girl I am, I screwed it up. I went all jealous girlfriend on him and now he is currently hanging out with this russian girl who is in his class who happens to be very pretty. -__- Ive been feeling like shit all day long and of course he has to go out with the hot girl right after I express that it makes me feel like a butt crack. You know what? Let him have his fun. But the thing is of course he rather go off be all iron curtain all day with me, even though I finally got the green light from my parents that we can see each other.  After a year of frikin LDR we are getting so see each other but the russian girl is more important. grrrrrrr. I hate being hormonal! And I hate hot russian girls! And I hate that I am getting ignored because of Russian Girls!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.

Reality/Expectation

Hello, Tumblr People.

So my boyfriend got done with boot camp like 2 weeks ago. The transition from not talking to talking has been a little rough. In his letters, he always made it seem like it would be easier once he was out of boot camp but so far, it hasn’t really been that way. Being long distance and our history has hit me hard now more than ever.

This weekend he got 4 days off and said we would be able to talk everyday or something like that. What has happened so far? Nada. Zilch. Nothing. Maybe a total of 5 texts. I went out of the city this weekend to go to another province with my family who is here on vacation but I still had internet and I told him. I just don’t like it when I am told one thing will happen and then another does. He promised so much in his letters from boot camp that now it feels like “a thing of the moment” kind of thing.

Sure, I understand he wanted to go out because he finally gets to hang out. I understand its the Navy. But I just wish I wasn’t pushed back. Its like a roller coaster. Some days we are at the top talking about the summer, us, and anything fun. The there are the lows when he dissappears for hours, sends short replies, and never calls when he says he will. I like when people have a plan and follow through with it (got it from my dad).

Right now it is 9:00 PM and I sent him some messages as soon as I got back from my trip. No response. I guess I just have to learn to not expect things to come through when he says them, which seems messed up. Don’t you think?

Almost Done

Only 2 more saya untill my boyfriend is done with boot camp!:)

Reblog if your a Navy Girlfriend and bootcamp hasn’t/won’t break you <3

(Source: navygirlfriendfuckyeah)

Titanic 3D… A Whole New Meaning

Hey there! Whats up?

Yesterday I calmly sat down to practice piano when I get a text from a friend to go see Titanic 3D. It was 4:30pm when I got it and the movie was at 5. I ran to where my parents were asked if I could go and after getting their approval proceeded to shower in less than 5 minutes. I had been lounging around all day and was too lazy to shower earlier. Trust me, I couldn’t have just put some different clothes on, no, I looked like a hobo.

It still amazes me that I was able to drive to the mall in such a short amount of time and made it before the movie started. I discovered my talent for speediness or rather found a power within me I had no knowledge of.

I know that my hygiene patters are interesting but those arent the point here. I just put that in for fun. No the important thing is not even Titanic, its what happened while watching Titanic. 

I was sitting comfortably completely into the movie and its 3D magic (which wasn’t all that magical). Jack and Rose had just been walking on the deck and she had just seen his drawings. I was basically squirming in my seat because I knew everything that was going to happen and I couldn’t wait for the cheesy loveliness of their relationship. Sadly, I didn’t see any of it. 

Out of my bag Rihanna began singing “We Found Love” and before you judge me for having my phone on at the movies, keep in mind my situation. I picked up and I hear one of the best noises in the world. My boyfriends voice. I got a call from my boyfriend from boot camp!!

I then jogged to go into this room at the entrance of the theater and talked to him for about 45 minutes. Remember how I wrote about how weird things were between us? Well all he did was apologize for being an ass before he left. He had already done this in his letters but it was nice actually hearing it. We just talked and told each other how much we loved and missed each other. It all seemed even more special because the music from the movie was sounding in the backround adn we all the know they play the melody of Celine Dions song all the time in that movie.

Sure I missed the best parts of the movie but I like to think I got my own cheesy love moments. It was through my phone and I got stared at by the people going in and out of the theater, but it meant the world to me. I actually became the door handler…  I got to tell him how I felt and he was just the sweetest. This just showed me that he really does care and that everything that happened is finally behind us.

I’m completely sure I am in love with this guy and it is the best feeling in the world. :)

I = Idiot

So I got a bunch of letters from a certain someone who is in boot camp yesterday. These have to be the sweetest letters anyone has sent me. There were 7 of them and each one made me feel both happy and upset. I mean here I am for weeks now thinking that my boyfriend doesnt like me anymore and BAM I get all these letters.They made me feel like I was being a bitch during this time. 

He said he felt bad about for what happened in like 3 of the letters. He just wrote the sweetest things and reminded me why I fell so hard for him. He feels really bad for what happened and knowing that just makes me feel better.

I still feel like an idot for the stuff that’s been going through my mind. In a sense I was training my brain and heart to get over him. I think I could have probably gotten there if it wasn’t for the fact that I am in love. I feel terrible for thinking that he didn’t care anymore and that my pessimism took over. While I have been thinking about letting go he has done nothing but hold on and that just makes me feel guilty.

I still have a fear that all the problems we were having will resurface. I am scared to be hurt again… but those letters only create a surge of hope and happiness I cant explain. Its hard leaving this behind. I want to move on and get over it but there is still that fear.

Those letters really reminded me of the relationship we had. He realized it too. Those letters speak the truth of what he thinks and maybe all we needed was this time apart to see that we care about each other. To rekindle our feelings.

I have a boyfriend. No doubt about that anymore. I am going to take another chance.